Thanks to Thais for the great idea of salmon and bagels, our 21st-Century version of fish and bread. I went to my local Safeway supermarket and found some vacuum-packed salmon and purchased some last-longer-than-Duracell Thomas bagels to fulfill my obligations. Said rations were then taken to the post office in a cardboard box and mailed, but not before the customs form was perfectly filled out, claiming everything honestly* and accurately.**
* The word honest is being used loosely.
** The first of the two customs forms filled out was filled out accurately, but it was the second customs form which made it to the Post Office. Our thoughts and prayers are with our 2 stinky fish, that they may find their new home quickly and free of creepy crawlies.